I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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