she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
