You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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