Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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