So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
