he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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