Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
