I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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