new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
