Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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