I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
