bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I'm always down for nudity.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
