Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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