FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
You are the jesus of drinking
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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