He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
