i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Randomize
