I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
