You're a womanizer and a bitch.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
