I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
