Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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