Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
