She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
