Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
