If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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