If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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