Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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