Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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