I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
