come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
