Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
