...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
