i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
do herpes really smell.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
