there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
