Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
