so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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