Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
