Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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