And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
