remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
