a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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