Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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