Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Drunk is not a location!
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
