I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
