There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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