We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
