My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
