i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
No subtext here. People are naked.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
