Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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