Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
