im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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