We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
