turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
