dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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